BREAKING NEWS: HOME OFFICE STILL SHIT

In a report which will surprise no one, particularly not Ukrainian refugees, it has been officially confirmed that the Home Office is still cruel, as well as incompetent. At least we now know it's not racist: it is indifferent to the suffering it causes the vulnerable, whatever your skin colour. Preferably brown or black, but white will do.

Actually, what I've said is not entirely true. This report will surprise one person: Matthew Rycroft, head of the Home Office, man who last year described the Home Office as ‘a beacon of light for the vulnerable’. I am going to  make a rather daring prediction here: that Ryecroft will not be fired, will not resign early, will be knighted, and will retire on a pension not far off £100,000 a year to take up a nice job like head of an Oxford college. That is the penalty for outrageous failure in today's civil service.